Huffington Postmodern: Four Limericks, Or “There Once Was a Girl from Greece. . . ”

Welcome to the latest installment of Huffington Postmodern, wherein every Friday we create beautiful poems using only the current headlines on the front page of the Huffington Post.

Four limericks:

I.
Actress: “You Can’t Have It All”
State G.O.P. Blocks Repeal Of Mandatory Ultrasound Law
Cat vs. Laundry
N.R.A. Parody
12-Pound Gold Nugget Found In Australia

II.
Walmart’s Plan To Shake Up The Health Care Industry
Notre Dame’s Real Tragedy
Rhinos Attack
Fired Porn Star-Turned-Teacher Can’t Get Job Back
Nicole Kidman Clears The Air On Scientology

III.
From Washington to Obama—15 History-Making Inaugural Moments
Freed Hostages Describe Horrific Treatment
It’s Time for America to Meet the N.R.A.
Church Of Scientology Rages Against Scathing Exposé
A Farmer’s Perspective on Guns and the Second Amendment

IV.
Panetta: U.S. Will Hunt Down Militants Who Attack Americans
Porn Star Reveals Details Of Sex Scene With Lindsay Lohan
NRA Ramps Up Anti-Obama Rhetoric
Celebs Who Love CrossFit
Katie Copying Jen Aniston?

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